Resume Bloopers

Senior Executives from large companies were interviewed and asked about resumes with mistakes.  The response concluded 40% indicating they would eliminate the candidate for just one typo on the resume, while 36% said it would take 2 mistakes before placing it in the “no” pile.  As for the other 24%, they were not mentioned.  But that’s not the purpose of this post.

The purpose is to entertain you with some favorite resume bloopers.  Spell check obviously isn’t always something to be depended upon.

Objective: Seeking a party-time position with room for advancement

Professional headline: 1 year old marketing executive

Achievement: Planned new corporate facility at $3M over budget.

Explanation of employment gap: career break in 1999 to renovate my horse

References: Referees available upon request

Skills: I am a rabid typist

Strengths: Impersonal skills

Hobbies: Enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians

Education: College: August 1880 to May 1984

Cover letter: I would like to assure you that I am a hardly working person.

And just how much information on a resume is too much?

Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a regular basis

Personal Information: Married, eight children, prefer frequent travel

Language Skills: Exposure to German for two years-but many words are inappropriate for business

Reason for leaving last job: the owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia

Achievements: Nominated for prom queen

Education: Finished eighth in a class of ten

Interests: Gossiping

Awards: National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes

References: Bill, Tom, Eric – but I don’t know their phone numbers

Salary: The higher the better

Cover letter: Please disregard the attached resume; it’s totally outdated

As amusing as these are, you do not want your resume to end up in the “no” pile so here are a few tips on avoiding typos:

• Print out a copy of the resume to proofread. It is easier to catch mistakes on the printed page than on the computer screen.
• Set the resume aside for a few hours and come back to it later. This may help you spot new typos.
• Ask three people to read the resume. Among the three of them, one is bound to catch an error.
• Err on the side of caution and use common sense. A resume isn’t a data dump of everything you have ever done or a window into your soul. It is a marketing tool that should put your best foot forward.
• Your resume may very well be the single most important document you ever write. Pay attention to every detail and be memorable for the right reasons.

Hope you found this entertaining as well as helpful.  Good luck, and as always, thanks for visiting.

Downsizing Woes

Ok, you have been downsized. You can cry (go ahead you’re entitled) and you can burn your employee manual (you won’t be needing it anymore). But there are a few other things to consider. You cannot stop bad things from happening nor can you stop good things from happening.

Trust in yourself. No matter how frightening or sad it is to leave familiarity behind, look forward to what is next with excitement and positive anticipation. Understand that looking for a job IS a job and it requires discipline. Put your resumes out, make phone calls, talk to recruiters, and follow up on leads. You can do this no matter what your attitude for the day is (you will have good and bad). Do this happily, sadly, anxiously, positively, or negatively… but you HAVE to do this.

This space of transition is a gift of time to use wisely. Do you want to stay in the same career? Or is this the time in your life to branch out and change? It is the economy that is broke…. not you.